I got in my first Fender Bender today :-\ … :-D

EVERYONE IS OKAY! Here’s the replay:

Me in car (in my head) at light: I think I’ll go straight---no wait!---I’ll go right! The coast is clear, let me put on my turn signal in this millisecond before I turn!
[BOOM!!]

Me: oops [exit car, walk to approach black SUV behind me]

Me: Was that you?

Man-driver: Uh, yes.

Me: What do we do now?

Man-driver: Well we should probably pull over around the corner so we can get out of the way of traffic.

Me: okay! [trot back to car---drive around corner—exit car]

Me: I’ve never had an accident before (this was kind of a white lie, well I’ve never actually dented someone’s car before---though there was this one time I accidentally backed up into a parked car and drove away, but I just dented the license plate a little, so it didn’t matter! And there was that other time I rear-ended an old couple and they just got out and yelled at me for reading and eating while driving—he heeeh oopsies) –back to the story, ahem—

Me: I’ve never had an accident before…you’re my first! Congratulations!

Man-driver: [smiles]

Me in my head: wow this man has some nice pectoral muscles

Man-Driver: blah blah blah, blah blah, something about this being his work car, blah blah blah
Do you need a pen? [runs back to get me a pen and then curses at something—then comes back and realizes I already have a pen]

Me: Are you on your lunch break?

Man-Driver: No

Me: [silence] (in this one second of silence I was daydreaming about a post -fender bender lunch-date—I mean I think literally about 1 second passed and I imagined a whole hour long lunch date, and in part of the date he took his shirt off…how is that even possible? And then I imagined myself lying on that lovely chest of his. It was so perfect—and right at eye-level)

Man-Driver: blah blah blah

Me: Have a nice day!

Man-driver: You too, don’t get in any more accidents, no more jumping lanes!

---THE END---

Look! Here's a picture of my dent! 
 

 Did you read ze story of Apl Von Schnitzel??? Und ze Cabaret? Ah, alas, my first musical theatre experience in 13 (--14??) years has ended! Below you will find some zany pictures from the show. Remember --it's JUST ACTING!! Being a part of "Cabaret" was a great experience, mostly because I got to work with an ensemble cast. Working in an ensemble of theatre people is sooooo out of my element! I'm a loner! My favorite place to be is in my bedroom alone (ok maybe not---gotta get a boyfriend one of these days ha ha :-\ )

Every single person in the cast had their own lovely, unique spirit, and I enjoyed working with everybody to create this big living piece of art! It was exciting and challenging at the same time. That being said I am happy to get back to focusing all of my spare energy on my singer-songwritering career!! WOOHoOOO! Lots of shows comin' up!

Anyway here are some pics from "Cabaret"! [Photo credit: Chuck Divine]

 Hallo, my name is Apl Von Schnitzel!

I was born in a nice little part of Germany.  My parents were murdered by gangsters  when I was 5. After that I was sent to live in a horrible orphanage. It was run by mean and torturously evil people, so a few of us escaped and went to live on the streets. I did what I had to survive there...you know what I mean ;-) ...and one day I was walking through Berlin, doing the ordinary things...pick-pocketing, stealing apples from the market, and I peeked through the window of the Kit Kat Club. I thought, " Oooh, this is the place for me!" and I went in, and have been here ever since. This is my family!
See you at the club! 

Music, songs, melody hang onto my life like clothing pinned to a clothesline, or maybe more like mile-markers in a really long and twisty (and beautiful) marathon.

I was 5 years old dancing in the basement in front of a giant t.v. to...Madonna: "Material World" and Twisted Sister: [weird men(?) with lots of makeup] ...I was 10 yrs old lipsynching into a microphone..Whitney Houston: I wanna dance with somebody. I was in middle school, with my first "boyfriend"---TLC: red light special. Then I was 14 in my B-)cool phase---Bone Thugz n' Harmony: Mo Murda...
And then onto highschool and into my "hippie phase", in my friend's basement --"Hey, Look at this! It's a video of Woodstock, check this guy out!" ...Richie Havens: Freedom.

I've been a fan since then and saw him twice in concert, so much energy, passion, and a beautiful voice and spirit! I met him after both concerts and he signed my poster, "To Nila, A Friend Forever." I later realized that he wrote this on everyone's posters. But still, I will always love his magical voice, and love his version of "Wonderchild" my favorite cover song to sing, and one of the only cover songs I sing regularly. It's a song written for Sesame Street in 1975. And Richie Havens' puts the most magic on it.

RIP Richie Havens! You are an inspiration and a friend forever!
Wonderchild:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdCx-1afCgM

 I’ve been a little down this week, and my head has been a little kerfuffled…because of a GUY.
Surprise, surprise…a song will probably come out of this experience. I thought I had finally met someone, that I could share laughter, love, and good times with. We had a few good dates, actually we had about 5. And then he just disappears…is this a new trend? What’s wrong with actually telling someone that you don’t think it’s going to work out? Why act like it’s all peachy, kiss me when you drop me off at my house, and then disappear? Oh well. ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST! BLAH!

On a happier note, I had band practice tonight for the first time in a while. And it felt great! YAAAY!
That was the first practice for my new 50’s rock cover band, The Wopbopaloobops! And we also rehearsed some of my songs, it was nice.. I feel complete and happy 
Tonight I will have sweet dreams of guitar chords and flying cars. 

muAck!
Nila

BEFORE YOU KNEW ME VERY WELL: a depressing blog post by Nila Kay

Before you knew me very well,
I was all whistles and bells,
a red convertible Porsche with the top pulled down—a perfect summer night.
All that I was, was all that you could see,
a laugh and a giggle, barely skin deep.
Perfection stacked the odds against me.

My whistle doesn’t blow as loud as you thought it would,
my bells a little cracked and tarnished,
And upon a closer look,
this red convertible Porsche is just a 4 door sedan,
with a broken roof and a stinky exhaust pipe.

But I’m still hoping you'll keep calling me anyway. 

Find love,
give love,
receive love,
think love,
speak love,
feel love,
show love,
be love.

 I couldn't think of anything to write this week. I'm trying to think of ways that I embarrassed myself...there must be SOMETHING?! Maybe not? If I haven't embarrassed myself then I haven't lived!
Oh well, a wise man once said, "when in doubt, err on the side of love"...

Dear You,

Though I know you probably will not read this, I felt it was time to write it--- a final soliloquy of the heart…a heart that was broken circa 2011. I want to thank you for breaking it. There was a time when I thought it could never be broken, that I would never ever cry over some guy.

But alas, there is a time in life for everything. I now see that I was a big dummy for thinking our love affair was more than an extended booty call, as it never actually extended out of the bedroom—or your Honda Civic. And now I look back with 20/20 vision. I see a woman that was in love for the first time in life, and who was really excited to simply love somebody with all her heart and soul. She was a woman so blinded by her own ambitious heart that she didn’t see that the man in front of her had accidentally gotten in over his head. This woman thought she was living the Katy Perry song “Teenage Dream”….well. the Teenage Dream ended slowly and painfully. It sputtered out tragically. And like a ghostly mist it has lingered over me, preventing me from finding love again.

But I finally have new prospects on the horizon. It is time to say farewell, adieu, bon voyage.

Thank you for my broken heart. For as a wise man once said… “The broken heart is the heart that lets the light in.”

No star but my own
I love myself. I have the ability to rescue my future self from sad oblivion. I had a show this weekend where I played the hand-jive, and no one danced to it, and I got so sad because only 8 people came.

So sad. Life is sad, weird, and magical. And I am also sad, weird, and magical.

I follow no star but my own. Life is also joyous. Actually I’m really tired right now, and I don’t remember where this blog post is going. I think I want to hide away in my grotto again for awhile and just write songs. There’s a deeper voice inside of me that needs to be heard…by me? What am I talking about right now? A song a week, that’s what I’m talkin about! I’m resuming my “song-a-week” goal/project after I’m done with the musical. This musical is a lot! Phew!

Aw man, I didn’t sell any skin care products yet. I didn’t even tell anyone that I’m sell them. wooOOps!

Goodnite, I hope that if you read this you were inspired to follow your weird little heart.

nila 

Since this inspirational blog is devolving week by week into a confessional diary, I would like to share something that I am very embarrassed about. I spent a huge amount of money on skin care products this past week. I feel so guilty about it. It’s another case of me not being able to say no to someone.

Not being able to say no has gotten me into many different situations----8 years ago it got me pregnant, this past winter it got me a new car that is exactly the same as my old car (not old enough to need a new one), but just in a different color. And most recently it got me a part-time career as a skin care consultant (???) I was convinced by a nice lady who talks really fast! I don’t even use skin care products! I usually wash my face with hot water and rub it with a towel. The end. Although that minimalistic approach is the result of an experimental skin cleansing phase that included everything from slathering toothpaste on my face… to rubbing it with oatmeal…baking soda…squeezing lemon on it...fresh slimy aloe…Yeah…my self-experimentation ended with a nice red rash all over my cheeks .

So maybe this new part-time career where I mostly consult with myself and sell products to myself is actually a good thing? Will I discover a miracle skin care regimen? Will I wake up tomorrow as a fresh-faced seventeen year old with skin soft and smooth as a baby’s butt? Have I finally found a cure for the bag under my left eye?

To be continued….

Muack!
Nila
p.s. If you are interested in learning about organic, botanical products that smell reeeaaaallly good, I have some extra samples! The brand is Arbonne. It's Swiss  
I think.